Saturday, August 19, 2006

Fork In The Road

Have you ever been stuck? It really sucks being stuck. I have been in limbo for over a year. Some where lost between who I was, who I would like to be and a great desire to be what I once was again.

I am trying to figure out if I am just experiencing grief for a lost part of me. Or if I am just experiencing every emotion I had tucked away for a year. I was kind of numb for the past year. It was easier to have no emotions then to deal with the emotions that were in front of me. The past few months my emotions are flowing like rivers from my soul, to my spirit, to my heart and to my mind. I think I have cried more in the past few months than I have in a life time. I have cried tears of enlightment, tears of sorrow, tears of sadness, tears of remorse, and tears of happiness.

I just wish I knew where each road was going to take me and chose the path that will cause me the less pain. I wish I knew if I was really ready to leave that part of me behind or if it is time to take that part of me back and embrace it.
I know this post is vague, I am very sorry and I am sure no one will truly understand what I am trying to say. I guess I just need to get it out of my head and in text so I can move forward a little bit, towards that fork in the road.


At 8/19/2006, Anonymous xmichra said...

i can relate. And although it may be auge in detail, the feeling is an overwhelming wave of uncertainty. You are in my thoughts Cherish. Drop me a line anytime If you need. ((hugs))

At 8/19/2006, Blogger darlingina said...

baby steps, day at a time cherish. i'll be right there beside you.
Hugs, gina

At 8/20/2006, Blogger Top cat said...

I'm sorry to hear you are having to deal with these emotions cherish, it can be quite a painful experience.
I am somewhat heartened to read you have cried tears of enlightenment as well.

It is difficult to leave the past behind but as we grow this is a part of the process.

I wish you peace on your heart and the strength to move forward.

My prayers, my thoughts go with you.

At 8/20/2006, Blogger alan said...

Sometimes you have to just give up and "go with it"; I've spent too many years agonizing over the right choice to the point that when I finally decide, it's too late and 3 other things have "slid by" in the meantime...(talk about vague, lol)!

Thinking of you...


At 8/20/2006, Blogger Snowelf said...

Cherish, tons of hugs coming your way. You are really a cool person and I'm sorry you feel that you are in such turmoil right now.
Sometimes, though, "sticky emotions" can be really motivating because once we get stuck too long, we become sick of feeling a certain way and with that comes the energy to change things--kinda like emerging from a cocoon...

Maybe you are just forming some wings right now.

love you!!

At 8/20/2006, Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I have a general idea of what you are feeling and trying to say. I think most of us have been there at one time or another in our lives.

Hang in there. You will get there and the direction will reveal itself in time. We're here for you, hon.

At 8/21/2006, Blogger LocuTus of Borg said...

When I hit that fork in the road ... I look down one ... look down the other. I look into myself to where the tugging is coming from. Ok left fork. I take one step forward and just keep walking. Don't wory about being vague - life is usually vague. Hugs!

At 8/21/2006, Blogger cherish said...

I want to thank ALL my wonderful friends for all the inspirational comments. I love that you are always there for me. I always feel happy to know that you will be here for me when I am happy, when I am sad, when I am being funny or silly, when I am feeling down and when I am just plain insane!!!!

I truly cherish every single one of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 8/23/2006, Blogger :phil: said...

Hi Cherish,
As Yogi Berra said:
"When you come to a fork in the road, you take it"
I know this tidbit is a tremendous help.

Seriously, I'm sorry you are having this issue, I can surely relate to you with this. I'm sorry I wasn't available last night for you.

At 8/26/2006, Blogger Jim C said...

darlingina nails it....a day at a time...I've hit so many forks in the road I've got a table setting for twenty....just remember very few decisions in life are permanent...let your spirit (whatever that happens to be) be your guide (jeez I sound like Jiminy Cricket) :>)


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