Saturday, July 08, 2006

Feeling Blue

I am feeling kind of down today. I am normally not a moody person. I pretty much wake up every morning with the same outlook and mood. Mean and Nasty!! HEHE no not really... just kidding! But today I woke up feeling sad and alone. I am contemplating waking up my children so I can hang out with them but mother's guilt is keeping me from waking sleeping babies (I know they are 13 and 14 but they are still my babies) So I am wondering have you ever just woke up sad? No reason, no explanation, no nothing...

I contemplated staying in bed and feeling sorry for myself. But self pity does not get anyone anywhere so here I am in blogville where just typing the words out makes you feel better. I love having this outlet because I can write it, forget it and move on. Plus I have such awesome blogging buddies that always make me happy!

It was a hellacious week at work. I only worked three days but WOW what a three days. Since I was off work for a week and a half returning was no picnic. It was just one problem after another. Well I can honestly say the end of this week went by in a flash. I am still just reeling with things that happened at work this week. We are also awaiting the arrival of a new priest so with that goes a lot of thoughts of what ifs and what is going to happen. I had an absolutely fantastic relationship with the last priest. I know that will never be matched. We have been without a priest for 6 months or so. I have been in contact with the new priest for months and we seem to have a budding friendship. We are partners in running this church both responsible for different aspects of the church and if we do not get along I will leave. It is funny how people react to finding out that churches are a business and run like a business.

Things at home were not any easier. We are still trying to accept that our daughter is a teenager; moody, emotional, trying to break away from being our little girl. This makes me so very sad!!!

I think I am already feeling that empty nest syndrome. My kids are on the go all the time between friends, sports, and technology I really MISS them. Thank God they do not drive yet at least they still need me for a ride and cash! As my son's voice changes and he eats us out of house and home because he is growing beyond belief, (we realized while on vacation that the boy is as tall as me and will definitely be taller than my husband, his feet are already bigger than my husband's) I can see the gentle man he is turning into and I just want my little boy back; curly hair, skinny, BIG brown eyes, and silly as can be (okay he is still a goofball). My daughter has gone from a cutie pie to a beautiful young woman who is truly starting her own life. I want my little girl back who had long curly ringlets, big brown eyes, daddys little girl and wanted to spend all her time with me. I really miss hearing her sing. When she was little she sang all the time. Now she only sings in her room behind a closed door. Sometimes I stand in the hall listening to her voice. I really miss being important in their lives. I am so not ready for all this!!! I want my babies back.

Is it too soon to have empty nest syndrome?

How the heck am I going to handle, college, marriage and grandchildren??


Today I feel like this tree alone and sad on an overcast gloomy day but still strong with great roots!!!

Wishing Everyone a WONDERFUL weekend!!

Stomp in a puddle and remember life is too short to step around it!!


At 7/08/2006, Blogger Top cat said...

I'm sorry you are feeling blue today cherish, will a big hug help?(())

Yes, I've woken up to this feeling before and it's like a cloud hanging over you for the day.
I understand seeing the changes in your children, it's difficult to accept, especially when it seems they are becoming more independent and need us less.

I'm sure you will develop a wonderful relationship with the new priest and who knows it might be even better for you.

I love the pictures you've chosen, they fit perfectly and your children are sooo adorable looking, I bet they have mommy's eyes.

Anyway, hope you feel better, I must go stomp on a puddle now.:)

At 7/08/2006, Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

That last picture...I didn't know at first that it was a puddle...I thought she was kicking a puppy or something LOL

I will cheer you up with a joke.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine.

Good night, everybody!

At 7/08/2006, Blogger Malnurtured Snay said...

Mint chocolate chip ice cream always makes me feel better. Try eating some. Yum!

At 7/09/2006, Blogger cherish said...

TC: Thank you for the hug! And you are right they do have my eyes!! My husband has light hazel eyes. I hope you are right about the new priest!

Mr Fab: Thank you for the joke, I feel better!

Snay: MMMNNNNN Mint Chocolate Chip is my favorite!! Great suggestion... Thank you for visiting my blog!

At 7/09/2006, Blogger boo said...

hugss to u cherish. your children are lucky to have u as their mommy & as am i, for u are a great friend :)

At 7/09/2006, Blogger StringMan said...

Hi Cherish's hoping this note helps blow away the blue clouds above. I certainly know what those days are like. Keep looking to the stars ...

At 7/09/2006, Blogger :phil: said...

Sorry you're feeling blue. I get that way at times but I pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again.

My wife and kids are going to the Jersy shore for the week. I'm not going because of chemo. I can't WAIT to be alone. I don't have to cook or do anything but swim, swim, swim
Same planet, different worlds :-)

At 7/09/2006, Blogger Tim ID said...

I think it is close to a full moon. So perhaps that is the source of your blues. Your children are very cute and from your blog, you have done a great job as a parent. You can't change them leaving the nest, but at least you prepared them as best you could. Hope you feel better.

At 7/09/2006, Blogger Jim C said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7/09/2006, Blogger Jim C said...

Empty nest??? Maybe not. My kids are in their 20s and all I can tell you is that we constantly have to cut apron strings along the way. It starts early and never stops. There are pivotal events where a little more innocence slips away for which we grieve. Like the first day he/she steps on the school bus and is whisked away...or their 10th birthday...the single digits are gone. Teenage years are tough...I can remember feeling the cynicism creep in...where did that innocent little kid go I used to play with? All parents go thru it...wait until the first day of college...or when they move out...just as tough to let go when they are older as it was when they were younger. My wife and I just try to focus and be grateful for all the good times we've had with our kids...we've found how important it is to pay attention to those times when they are happening. It's like Christmas day. If we don't pay attention it goes by in a flash (it will anyway) and be gone before we know it. Think of the goods times...and know your relationship with your kids constantly changes...and that there are more good times to come!!!

At 7/09/2006, Blogger Gary said...

Hope you are feeling better now.

As for the church, I think it is more accurate to think of it as a team. Any organization requires teamwork and everyone has to mesh well.

At 7/09/2006, Blogger gunngirl said...

I don't have kids, but I feel that way when I think about my life and some of the mess I've gotten myself in (debt) and I wake up blue wondering will I ever see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I think it just dawned on you that they've grown up, you probably haven't been thinking about it too much, then, BAM! Don't let them get too far you want to make sure that they include mom in the list of people they tell things to, instead of friends only.

Sounds college will be tough on you, there was an Oprah show about that and the parents were having a REALLY hard time with college, one mother was crying like the child was dead. But every mom probably feels like this, just be around but not 'nosy' you know what I mean. Then they get all secretive.

Feel better! ((hugs))

At 7/10/2006, Blogger LocuTus of Borg said...

Remember that last sentence you wrote! That is what is important live for today. You children will always be there even if they end up going to college across the US. They are adorable when they are little aren't they? heehee Hugs!!

At 7/10/2006, Blogger Big Ben said...

Soon there will be horny male teenagers over at your house after your daughter. Ooops, I am supposed to make you feel better!

At 7/11/2006, Blogger cherish said...

Boo: HUGGSS thank you so much!! Thinking of you!!

Stringman: Thank you smiles!!! The stars always make me happier! I appreciate your note...

Phil: Enjoy the quiet!!! Just do not turn into a fish.

Tim:: Thank you... I think they are cute as can be but of course I am prejudice. Must be the full moon!!

Jim: Thank you very much for the wonderful advice. Your kind words helped a lot. But MOVE OUT???? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! ~winks~

Gary: Absolutely there is a definite team between the religious and the business side of a church.

Gunnie: Huggss - Thank you!!! I think college will be very hard on me. I am not looking forward to it and unfortunately it is all my daughter talks about.

LoB: Yeah they are adorable before all that teenage stuff kicks in. Well my daughter was looking into a college in Cali but just recently she is looking into one in Virgina and one in PA, THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Big Ben: SOOONNNN????? They follow her around the stores. They ride their bikes up and down the street circling right infront of our house. And it is amazing what great service we receive when bring her with us. I make it my business to tell them all SHE IS 14!!!! This irritates her to no end but its my job!

At 7/11/2006, Blogger LocuTus of Borg said...

LOL yea tell her NOT to go to california!

At 7/11/2006, Blogger Lisa said...

I am sorry you are so down and I hope you are feeling better! =)

At 7/13/2006, Blogger Still Searching... said...

Aw, I don't think it's too early to have empty nest syndrome. You know it's coming...and it seems faster every passing year.

I know how you feel. My Babygirl just got her hair cut this week...after it was cut, she looked so much like she did when she was two. And all those feelings came back. But...she's donating her braid to Angel Hair and I thought that was such a grown up thing to matter if you're looking back or looking forward, in the back of your mind, you always know that time is so very short.


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