Sunday, March 26, 2006

A Lost Friendship

Well I do think the loss of a friend is very sad. It is the person we shared our lives with, spend all our time with and shared our deepest secrets with. Our friends; they are the person we laughed and cried with. The person who loves us no matter what. It is the person we will stand next to and fight to the death with. The person that will not allow any petty jealousy, argument, or differences to come between the friendship we built.

I have a great belief in a lost love is a friend found. When you lose your boyfriend/girlfriend, lover, or husband/wife they can still be your friend. This I am trying to teach my daughter, unsuccessfully I might add. Her ex boyfriend is a jerk and she hates him(PERIOD) she is not hearing anything else. Well she is 14, he was her first boyfriend/love, he hurt her deeply and she will eventually learn the lesson that you should always try to stay friends with time and patience.

I had the best friend in the entire world, I will refer to her as H. We had an instant connection and bond that I thought would never be broken. Okay that is a bit of a lie, I had an instant bond and connection. She thought I was crazy. She was the most amazing person in the world to me. I met her through Sunday School. Our daughters were in CCD kindergarten class together. Two girls were not being very nice to my daughter and she was upset. I was going to take her out of the class for that day. My friend's daughter came up to my girl and said would you please sit with me today? I looked into the beautifully dark teary eyes of my baby and she nodded to me. My friend's daughter put her arm around my daughter and took her to their seats. It was WONDERFUL!!! My daughter is very shy and she needed that little push to stay in class that day. It melted my heart and I thought what a good girl. So I tracked down her mom and told her how wonderful her daughter was to my daughter. Well... she looked at me like I had three heads. I did not realize she was very shy. I kept talking to her because I had this feeling inside me like I wanted her as my friend. I swear I could almost see her sigh when she saw me coming, like oh no not her again. But I could not bring myself to stop talking to her. Later we were at a meeting for brownies/girlscouts. I was thrilled when I saw her and went over to talk to her, I am sure she sighed. So they were telling us where to get their uniforms. Everyone was talking and saying when they were going to pick the uniform up. The store was about 45 minutes away. Well H and I said at the same time I am going to go down in the morning. I looked at her and said would you like to ride down with me? She reluctantly said okay. hehe... Well when she pulled up to the park and ride, I was very shocked to see that her and I had matching Blazers. Mine was burgandy and hers was green but the same make and model. It was pretty funny. Off we went to Easton which is a pretty long and boring drive through farmland. I talked and talked to her like she was my long lost friend. Going down she was pretty quiet. We were listening to Barney in the car because we had my son with us. That loosened her up!! LAUGHS!!!Well we got the uniforms and headed back because we had a very small time frame to get the girls from kindergarten. On the way home she talked and we laughed and laughed, from that moment in time we were attached at the hip. We spent every moment we could together. Then it became a joke that the only reason H and I were friends was because she could not get rid of me, she tried and tried but I kept come back so she figured if you can beat her join her. LAUGHING!!!!!! When people saw us pull up they would say I know you did not get matching cars. We would say of course we did, hehe... shhhhh we did not tell them we already had them. But when our Blazers were five years old we traded them in and got new cars that were similiar but not the same. We bought bigger cars so we were able to fit all four kids in the one car. Driving separately was a pain because we wanted to talk. So we bought walkie talkies so we could talk when we were following each other so we did not use cell minutes that was back before Verizon IN plan!!! One would take the girls and one would take the boys we had so much fun always. We coparented our children; my children felt like she was a second mother and I felt like I was a second mother to her children. Well time went on and our family grew into one unit. Our kids felt like they were brothers and sisters because we always did everything together. She would volunteer in my son's classroom with me. When my son went off to first grade it was very hard on H. He had been our little travelling companion for years. She cried when he got on the bus, I wanted to cry but I had to console her. geesssshhh she stole my pity. We met all the other stay at home moms at a restaurant on the island. We always went there for breakfast on the first day of school and the last day of school. H could not even eat she just cried. When he got off the bus after his first day she hugged him and kissed him and told him how much she missed him. He did not miss us at all he met a girl in first grade and was thrilled.

Well I will fast forward because I have a gazillion and one stories I could tell you about my friend. My husband called us Lucy and Ethel. Well H had an awful marriage. Her husband SUCKED>>>> He was abusive to her and the kids. One day three years ago she had enough and asked him to leave. She then met a gentleman at work who she fell madly in love with. Well... in entered her new man and out went her best friend. She just did not have time for me anymore and I understood it. I was thrilled for her because she was finally being treated the way she deserved. After about a year of trying to fit into her life I decided there was no room for me. Everyone kept saying once the excitement wore off she would want to be friends again. Well the excitement never wore off. It has been three years and she is completely content with her new man and no longer needs a best friend. This was a great loss to my children and me. They just could not understand why she did not want to be with us anymore. I just kept trying to explain that she was building a new life with her new man. But that is hard to grasp for littleones. Heck it was hard to grasp for me. I mourned and grieved the loss of our friendship. But I am thankful for the time I did have with her.

Now I bet you are sitting there and wondering why the hell I am writing about it now? 3 years later? Well guess what? I have a reason!! WOOO HOOO there is a method to my madness, sometimes ~winks~... She is coming to my son's birthday party on Saturday. I am so excited!! I feel as if I will come out of my skin. I am thrilled to see her and hug her again. To be able to chit chat once the games are started and the kids are taken care of and all there needs are met. I can sit down with my friend(and her boyfriend) and just talk. I can not wait to see her laugh and hear her voice again. So I am writing about this because it feels as if Saturday will never get here. Surprise parties are so very exciting and my son is going to LOVE it!!! Seeing H is just the cherry on the sundae. Seeing my son surprised and happy is the entire sundae.

One last side note: I spoke to my neighbor because his children are invited to the party. When the kids (my son and his two kids) got off the bus they walked home. The boy stopped at the mailbox, opened it and looked at my son and said there is something from your mom, it must be an invitation to your birthday party. UGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! So when he opened it and saw it was a surprise he about fell over. The next day he told my son it was from someone else with the same name as your mom. My son said okay. But I am sure my son saw the address. I most definitely did not forsee that. So I am not sure if my son knows or not but regardless he will enjoy his party.

16 Comments:

At 3/27/2006, Blogger darlingina said...

Wonderful post cherish. i hope the week flies by quickly. And i hope the party and time spent reuniting with your friend will be a wonderful, heartwarming success filled with lots of happy memories.
Hugs,
~gina~

 
At 3/27/2006, Blogger Sonya said...

I can' t wait till the surprise party to hear all about it. It will be cool to get to see your friend too.

 
At 3/27/2006, Blogger Top cat said...

That is great news about reuniting with your friend cherish and the surprise party for your son sounds awesome.

Just be prepared when you reunite with your friend things sometimes change and the old chemistry may no longer be there.

 
At 3/27/2006, Blogger Chandira said...

THanks for the comment! So may people stop by and never leave comments.. Bah.. I hope your comment fairy heard your good deed Cherish.

And great to hear of a friendship rekindled, and your utter lack of bitterness about it! That is so unusual and a real sign of true friendship!!

I've lost friends too, and it hurts. It's hard not to get bitter. Good for you.

I hope you had/have a great party!!

 
At 3/27/2006, Blogger cherish said...

Gina: Thank you so much! I am so VERY excited about the party. I am very excited about seeing my friend too even though her boyfriend is always in tow, but he really is a great guy!

Sonya: I can not wait either I will have lots to tell about the party!!!

 
At 3/27/2006, Blogger cherish said...

TC: Thank you I am so excited about seeing her. But we were never really apart. She just does not have time for me anymore. We never had a fight or disagreement just drifted apart because she has a new boyfriend. When we see each other it is like no time has passed. But she will have her boyfriend at her side because she can not breathe without him, hehehe!! But I am sooooooo Excited about my son's surprise. I hope he has a great time!

Chandira: Hehe I hope the comment fairy knows too, I will send her an email!

There is no bitterness whatsoever I am very happy for her. I miss her so much please do not get me wrong. But she had it so bad before and now she has it so great. She looks 20 years younger. She always looked so tired and old. Now she looks young and vibrant. I love her unconditionally whether we are spending every second together or just there when we need each other. I have to be honest I know I could call her anytime on anyday and she would help me. I would help her with anything, anytime with anywhere.
I hope the party is great too!!!

 
At 3/27/2006, Blogger Gary said...

Great story. It shows how patience can win out if we let it.

 
At 3/27/2006, Blogger Tim ID said...

I think people come in and out of our lives for a reason. Hope your reunion and your son's birthday is happy.

 
At 3/28/2006, Blogger cherish said...

Gary: Thank you very much and great to see you again.

King Tim: You are so very right! I am a much better person for knowing her and for being friends with her. We will always be best friends regardless!

 
At 3/28/2006, Blogger alan said...

Surprise or not, he's still in for quite a treat!

Hope the party and the reunion are both delightful!

alan

 
At 3/28/2006, Blogger cherish said...

Thank you very much Alan! He better like it!! hehe I am exhausted!

 
At 3/28/2006, Blogger LocuTus of Borg said...

HAHA I am sure that your son knows "something" is up. If he brings it up just tell him he better damn well be excited when it happens! LOL

Glad to hear that your friend is coming. It is really difficult to lose good friends over the years. Most of mine I have lost just because we have moved away from each other. Hope you have a great time at the party!

 
At 3/28/2006, Blogger cherish said...

LoB: The only thing I have going for me is that my son is a dingbat and lives in his own little world. Hehehe... My daughter would have had the boy open the invitation right in front of her. But my boy just goes with the flow.

I am very excited about seeing my friend.

 
At 3/29/2006, Anonymous xmichra said...

AW!! *cries*.. i hop eyou have a wondeful time... and hope your friend comes around more often!!

 
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