Friday, February 10, 2006

My Favorite Jokes

My Favorite Maryland Joke


The day after his wife disappeared in a boating accident, an Ocean City man answered his door to find two grim-faced Maryland State Troopers. "We're sorry Mr. Rice, but we have some information about your wife," said the trooper."Tell me! Did you find her" Willy shouted. The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first"Fearing the worst, Willy said, "Give me the bad news first."The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the Assawoman Bay near the Rte 90 Bridge."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Willy.
Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?
"The trooper continued. "When we pulled her up she had 12 huge blue crabs and 6 good-size blue crabs on her."Stunned, Willy demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"
The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow".

You may have to be a Marylander or former Marylander to appreciate this joke!


My Favorite Blonde Joke


An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work onscaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If Iget corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump offthis building."The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I getburritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bolognasandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage,and jumped to his death.The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death aswell.At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd knownhow really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have givenit to him again!"The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos orenchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."AND ................

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,"Don't look at me, He makes his own lunch."

17 Comments:

At 2/10/2006, Blogger Jim C said...

Great Maryland joke. Someone sent me that blond joke recently.

You want hot??? Go read the 2/10 entry At this blog

 
At 2/11/2006, Blogger cherish said...

Thanks for stopping by Jim! I will go check out the blog thank you.

 
At 2/11/2006, Blogger xmichra said...

hahaha.. that's a great blonde joke cherish!!

 
At 2/11/2006, Blogger Top cat said...

ummm my comment didn't post, I must've hit preview and then moved on.
I originally said "thank you for brightening my Saturday morning with these funny jokes".

 
At 2/11/2006, Blogger Lori said...

LMAO great jokes. The picture of the blonde guy is hilarious.

 
At 2/11/2006, Blogger Big Ben said...

liked the blonde joke

 
At 2/11/2006, Blogger Tim ID said...

I got a kick out of both jokes. Thanks for the laughs!

 
At 2/11/2006, Blogger Fred said...

Thanks for making my night with a great post. And, thanks for the comment you left over at my place. You really put it all in perspective.

Have a great weekend, Cherish.

 
At 2/12/2006, Blogger Red Hot Sexy Papa said...

blonde jokes are always funny. :P

 
At 2/12/2006, Blogger Top cat said...

hope you are surviving the big winter storm.
take care of yourselves.
tc

 
At 2/12/2006, Blogger Stephanie said...

You are too funny, I'm glad I stumbled on your blog (compliments of Fred, yay Fred)!

 
At 2/12/2006, Blogger Zen Wizard said...

The irony!

He cursed fate--yet HE controlled his destiny all along!

Did Jean-Paul Sartre write this joke?

 
At 2/13/2006, Blogger cherish said...

Xmichra: I happy you liked it! It is my most favorite blonde joke ever. I have a friend who is Hawaiian and I am Italian so we have a lot of fun with blonde jokes (no offense to my blonde friends)

TC: You are very welcome, I am happy you liked them.

Lori: Thank you! I am happy you enjoyed it.

Big Ben: Thanks for stopping by, I am happy you liked it. I know the Maryland joke seems morbid, but if you live around here it really is funny.

Tim: I am happy you liked them!!!

Fred: Great! I am happy you liked them. Thank you for the post because sometimes I have to stop and remember myself. My little angel is 14 and in love so sometimes my patience is not everything it should be!

RHSP: They are funny, there are some great ones!!!

TC: We made it through thank you!!!!

Stephanie: Thanks for stopping by, Fred is the best!!

Zen: You know I do believe Jean-Paul Sartre did write that joke, winks!!

 
At 2/13/2006, Blogger LocuTus of Borg said...

Those are great!! LOL

 
At 2/13/2006, Blogger cherish said...

LoB: Happy you liked them! Thank you for commenting.

 
At 2/13/2006, Blogger Sonya said...

LOL!

 
At 2/13/2006, Blogger gunngirl said...

Ohh, that Maryland joke was terrible, in a funny way. Poor husband. LOL!

 

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